Abstract

Last week I "returned from the field." Even though I am back home I certainly don't feel at home. I feel disoriented for all sorts of reasons. BecauseI came back during the sixth week of the semester I, feel like an outsider in my workplace, an empty shell moving through corridors and seminar rooms.( Was that me teaching that class a few months ago?) Where I live now seems foreign, perhaps because I've lived longer in Berlin than in any of my American homes during the last ten years. This blurring of home and the field reminds me of an experience last year when two of my Berlin research consultants gave lectures about their work at my "home" university. Due to various conversations and interactions I, unexpectedly had to face some of the moral issues and social relations of the field at home.I felt almost schizophrenic, torn between worlds, culture, set of social relations,and selves.